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| i'm a victim of infidelity
this weblog is dedicated to women blaming themselves. i'm a 22-year old girl who finally realized that men are dogs. sex-hungry dogs who would want more than one woman if society didn't frown upon polygamy and infidelity. you see, i was once a victim of cheating when i caught him fooling around with that slut.
when i found out, i was devastated. my world fell apart as i came to realize that all along he was fooling around behind my back. first, i asked myself what i did wrong. what did i do to deserve this? then, i compared myself to her and came to the conclusion that she was more attractive than me. she was more beautiful and that was why he cheated on me.
it was really difficult for me during the months after discovering the unfaithful truth. my self-esteem plunged as i cried over him every night. you'd laugh at me because i would've taken him back into my arms if he broke up with the other girl. to rebuild my self-confidence, i changed my eating habits, joined a gym, got a new hairstyle, and went on shopping sprees for a new wardrobe. i went through a makeover because i thought there was something wrong with me.
i've finally realized how foolish i was to blame myself for his infidelity. it wasn't my fault at all, yet most victims would've blamed themselves like me. you see, the truth is that men want what they can't have. once they have you, they're curious about the possibilities of another girl. to all the women out there, don't be like me if it happens to you. don't blame yourself because he cheated. it's his fault; not yours.
it was his fault; not mine.
i'm an ex-girlfriend
this weblog is dedicated to giving up my friends and my innocence for my boyfriend. i'm a 22-year old girl who just broke up with my boyfriend. deep down, it feels like my life is meaningless without him. naively, i keep telling myself that our two-year relationship isn't over and that he will come back to me. there's still a tiny spark of hope as i wait for him to let me know that he can't let go of me.
looking back, our two years together was filled with unforgettable memories. when we first met, we just clicked because of the chemistry between us. like a married couple, he called me wifey and i called him hubby before our one-month anniversary. he knew my parents and i knew his parents. we made breakfast, lunch, and dinner together. he held my hand purses on dates and i wore his t-shirts when i slept over. destiny had finally found me and i knew he was the right guy for me.
he was the missing piece in my life and now i feel incomplete. everyday, my bedsheets soaked my waterfall tears as i cried over how i gave up so much for him. i hung out with my friends less and less because i wanted to spend more time with him. i gave him my virginity because i was so sure that he was the right guy. now, i have no friends to turn to and i regret that i gave my innocence away too early. i've come to realize that i didn't fall in love, but i fell in like. the truth is, i just wanted a boyfriend without considering true compatibility at the beginning. regretfully, i gave up too much for him and now i have to pick up the shattered pieces of my broken heart.
i gave up everything for him because i thought he was the right one. i'm a desperate loner this weblog is dedicated to settling with limited choices. i had a conversation with my friend once. she and i both agreed that a lot of girls just sit back and wait for "mr. right" to come along to ask them out. most girls believe in destiny and let fate bring the right guy to their front doors. i think this laid-back attitude of letting "destiny" decide who they'll be with really limits their choices. it's ironic because most girls, and people in general, try so hard to find the right employer in the job market, yet girls don't even try that hard to find the right guy in the singles market. usually they just choose someone who conveniently comes into their lives. it's not like girls wait for a job to come to them; why do they wait for the "right" guy to find them? of course, there's the issue of settling. i know a lot of young girls and guys who settled for someone who are already in their lives. the "oh, he likes me now, i guess i'll like him back" thinking. the "he may not be handsome, but he's nice to me, so i'll give him a chance" justification. deep down, they feel a little lonely and ask themselves why they're not in a relationship like everyone else. with the limited choices of potentials in their lives, they choose someone who they already know without considering true compatibility or the other possibilities out there. it's really irrational in my opinion. what about you? given your choices, would you settle when you feel lonely? 
too often, we credit destiny for bringing two people together. i'm a daughter this weblog is dedicated to parents as role models of relationships. i am a 21-year old daughter with divorced parents. children begin to understand the universal concepts of friendship, family, and love at an early age. the first friend met while enjoying the childhood simplicities in the playground sandbox. the early realization that a typical family consists of a mother, a father, siblings, and relatives. the relationship between the parents as the first clue of love. when i was a little girl, my parents always argued over outsiders, the in-laws, and, of course, money problems. their quarrels downstairs permeated through my bedroom floor into my room where i hid. their loud disputes made me cry myself to sleep at night. their ceaseless shouting echoed even in my dreams. my parents were bad role models of love; so, when i was younger, i relied on fairy tales as guiding examples of love. faithfully, i chose to believe in fairy tale endings of a happily forever after and the heavenly stars guiding me to my destined soulmate. with certainty, i told myself that my destiny will never be like that of my parents. however, i was naive to believe that my first love is my last love. inevitably, my heart was broken over the years and my relationship experiences has taught me that i live for myself. of course, i want to mention that, although i've been through many relationships, i plan to save my virginity for a serious, long-term relationship with my future companion.
flash forward into the future. their only daughter is 21 years old. i hate my parents for their inconsideration to compromise so that their only daughter could live a childhood free of child support issues and custody battles. my childhood years of classmates taunting me about living in two homes. my teenage years of trying to hide the shame of my parents' divorce from my friends. i was the innocent victim of my parents' war.
i despise my parents for not staying together for the sake of their only child; however, there's one thing that i must thank them for giving me: beauty and intelligence. being approached by guys is a common occurence for me; nonetheless, i've come to realize that boyfriends come and go. i remember selling out my best friends for my boyfriend in high school, only to have no one to turn to when i broke up with him. now, i will never let anything come between my girlfriends. they are my sisters from other mothers and i live by the philsophy of "when worst comes to worst, my girls come first."
the broken marriage of my parents still haunts me to this day. their failed relationship was something i promise myself that will never happen to me. although the idea of love has been distorted by heartaches associated with past relationships and my parents' failed marriage, deep down inside me, i still believe in destiny. my destiny to hold hands with my future husband until our hair turns grey. our successful marriage as an ideal example of love for our future daughter.
a lonely childhood as a result of my parents' failed marriage...
my future will be different; our successful marriage as an ideal example for our children.
i'm a handicap
this weblog is dedicated to people who take their lives for granted. it has been four years since the car accident and, like a ghost, the legal consequences still haunt me to this day. sometimes, i wish the lawsuit filed against me was the only problem in my life. unfortunately, i have to deal with the hardships of living as a paraplegic forever.
the doctor told me that the impact of the other car severed the lower part of my spinal cord. during the days after the accident, i was in a state of denial as i looked at my lifeless legs in disbelief. i lost more than just my legs in that accident actually; i lost the things that i once took for granted. every aspect of my life has been affected by my disability: my social life, my family life, my love life, everything.
my social life was no longer the same as before. deep down inside me, i knew that i was different from everyone else as i looked up to talk to other people from my wheelchair. going to the mall on weekends was too much trouble because of the crowds, the line-ups, and the fitting rooms. catching a movie at the theatre was not the same experience because there was just no room for the wheelchair guy.
my family life is different as well. i need my brothers to drive me to places. i rely on my mother to give me sponge baths. i depend on my father to pay for my tuition fees. i wish that i can be self-sufficient; but there is nothing i can do. i hate myself for not being able to take care of my parents when they are old. i hate myself for burdening my family.
sadly, i don't have a love life. i've always believe that love was all about acceptance. choosing to be with me because of me. however, i'm too naive because many girls couldn't imagine holding hands with a guy in a wheelchair. they would never go out with a guy who couldn't drive a car. i've been hurt too much in the past; i just don't want to be disappointed anymore.
i keep telling myself to be optimistic. to realize that i didn't die in that car crash. to enjoy what i still have in life. as i wait on a busy sidewalk, people brush pass me as if i was an object. everyone had somewhere to go in their lives except for me. i wish i can be like everyone else who can walk. however, like a shadow, my wheelchair will follow me to wherever i go for the rest of my life.
please don't take life for grantedi'm an orphan this weblog is dedicated to all the people who has a family. i feel lonely all the time. all my life, i've had to face hardships by myself as an orphan. you see, my parents abandoned me a few months after i was born, without considering the negative impact it would have on their child's future. for whatever reason, they have deserted me in the cold, dark world to survive all on my own. deprived of parental care and childhood happiness, i grew up at the local orphanage along with other orphans. it was a cold place that lacked family warmth. a place i had no choice but to call home. still, i found a spark of warmth; not from our fireplace, but from the nuns as my mothers and my childhood playmates as my brothers. envious of those who have families, i cried myself to sleep every night when i was a little boy. with my face buried in my wet pillow, i wished that i had a father to look up to, a mother to hug, a sister to confide in, and a brother to share clothes with. a wish that will never ever come true. i find myself waking up from my sobbing sleep with my eyes crusted from the evaporated tears of solitude. once, i had a dream that my dad was throwing a football with me while my mother and sister were gardening outside our happy home. those dreams were always the same. familiar dreams that will never ever become reality. sadly, i think about how i have never seen my mother and father; not even a photograph. yet i try to imagine myself having my mother's nose and my father's eyes as i brush my teeth in front of the washroom mirror every morning. i grew up not knowing what it means to be a son or a brother. wondering how mother's home-cook meals would taste like. wishing that my dad taught me how to ride a bike. those people with family will never understand how lucky they are. people will never understand how it is like to live their life not knowing how their biological parents look like. they will never understand how it feels to be unwanted and abandoned. they will never understand my disappointment of seeing everyone else's parents in the crowd as i walked across the stage during my graduation. they will never understand the loneliness i have felt all my life. there is one thing i have to say to those who take their family for granted. the ones who wake up expecting the smell of breakfast downstairs made by their mothers. the ones who get angry at their caring fathers for imposing curfews on them. the ones who hate their siblings because of silly quarrels with each other. those people should cherish their family because i have no family to cherish at all. cherish your family
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| you, her secret admirer
this weblog is dedicated to chasing your girlfriend all over again. imagine reliving the magic at the beginning of your relationship. the flirtacious flings, the sweaty palms, and the beating hearts of the chase. take a moment to read about my nostalgic inspiration. a dream come true for a guy who never had a chance to do this for a girl in high school. a perfect idea for a boyfriend who is committed to his high school sweetheart.
take the effort to secretly rent a top locker in your girlfriend's school at the start of the semester. if you go to the same school as her, use it to store your books and bags during the term. your purpose for the rental though is to make her fall in love with you all over again.
on a random day or for a special occasion, send her a text message to ask her to grab a textbook from your locker during her break. if it is a secret locker, be sure to include the locker number and the combination in your message.
expecting to find textbooks and binders in the locker, her eyes widens and her jaw drops open by what's in store. her bewildered expression is taken over by a sudden smile spreading across her face. the scent of her favourite perfume floats faintly into her senses.
like a typical high school locker, the inside is plastered with photos of you and your girlfriend. a meaningful way of showing the many memories that you and her have created all these years. each photo a reflection of the special feelings that you have for each other.
she finds a note from her "secret admirer" next to a single rose as the centerpiece. much like high school crushes slipping love notes in lockers, you pour your heart out as words on paper. each sentence sincere, you let her know how you truly feel about her.
in the love note, you make a confession. wishing that you can carry her books to her next class. hoping that you can pass love notes to her behind the teacher's back. longing to leave sweet surprises of candy grams and origami hearts when she opens her locker. yearning to be the best boyfriend that she ever had. ending it off with a "yours truly, a secret admirer."
she's moved by the creativity of making your long-term relationship seem like puppy love. admiring the interior collage, her passion for you is sparked by your locker full of love. like a school boy, you're using a locker to chase your girlfriend all over again. like a school girl, your girlfriend giggles at the fact that her secret admirer is her sweet, sweet boyfriend <3
be that boyfriend who has a secret crush on his girlfriend
romantic glow in the snow
this weblog is dedicated to a snowy surprise for your girlfriend. from observation, one of the most enjoyable aspects of being in a relationship is doing random things for your girlfriend. the truth is, random acts of kindness has their heart-touching impact because they aren't expected from you.
it's not like knitted scarves on christmas, chocolates on valentine's day, plush toys on birthdays, jewelry on anniversaries, and i'm-sorry flowers after arguments. to be honest, those are often expected of you as a boyfriend. with that in mind, here's a spontaneous 'just because' idea to sweep your girlfriend off her feet with white powder from the heavens.
following a heavy snow storm that cancelled my classes, i molded snow sculptures after shovelling my driveway. inspired by the japanese snow festivals, i packed a bucket full of snow and made three hollow snow cyclinders. based on this sand-castle creation process, placing a candle within the hollow space will create a delightfully illuminating effect.
taking advantage of the fresh snowfall during your winter break, imagine making cylinders in your backyard or at a local park in the morning. as dusk approaches, invite your long-term girlfriend over for a family dinner. while your girlfriend entertains your family after supper, you sneak out to prepare your snowy surprise for her.
when you finish lighting up your snow candles, take her out for a snowy promenade in a winter wonderland. while walking together under your umbrella, you stand on the roadside of the sidewalk to prevent passing cars from splashing wet snow on her. being a chivalrous gentleman, you make sure that she's comfortably warm as you escort her to the neighbourhood park.
within close proximity to your snow sculpture work of art, you tell her to close her eyes. when the moment is right, she will gasp at the romantic glow in the snow created by several snow candles. the wintery air is cold and her breath is taken away, not by the frosty temperature, but by the sight of your snowy surprise. the possibilities are truly endless; the snow candles can form a marry-me message or a symbolic heart. your romantically icy message to her is only limited by your imagination.
during the peaceful night, the cold darkness hugs the two of you while you delicately embrace your girlfriend to keep her warm. touched, her warm feelings for you are preserved in a frozen teardrop on her cheek. as the snow drifts silently down the sky, the two of you stand still in a moment to remember. from the sincerity in your heart, you let her know that you love her because she is unique like each intricately beautiful snowflake <3
 with school cancelled, i made three snow candles with an icecream bucket. a bird's eye view from the window of my parent's bedroom. truly, an inspiration from japanese snow festivals. a stunning scenery like this snow-candle field during the morioka snow festival. really, you can make any design with your creativity. a snowy surprise of something simple, yet sweet. a romantic glow in the snow for your girlfriend.
homemade meals for her this weblog is dedicated to the reason why guys should learn how to cook. my former co-worker once mentioned that her boyfriend brought her dinner while she was working on a busy boxing day. i must admit that it was a caring gesture that earned him some points. however, if he was more creative, he would have personally made dinner for her. after hearing her story, i was inspired with a tasty idea. an inspiration that i want to share with my male readers to give them some motivation to learn how to cook for their girlfriends. let's face it, knowing how to cook will definitely differentiate yourself from her ex-boyfriends, who probably still think the kitchen is not their domain. for lunch, your long-term girlfriend has already tried your homemade, hello-kitty bento box. for dinner, she has tasted your heart-shaped fish steak with wine that was dipped in a bucket full of rose ice cubes. for dessert, she was sweetly numbed by your tiramisu cake of art, decorated with heart-shaped strawberry slices, and your heart-shaped gelatin desserts. for breakfast, you'll make her another meal from the heart. picture this, you drive over to your girlfriend's house early one morning. her parents are already awake. her mom reading the morning newspaper and her dad getting ready to make breakfast. letting them know about your plan, you insist on making breakfast for the whole family. you share with them your morning secret, operation: i want to surprise your daughter with breakfast made by me. while she's still in bed dreaming about you, you set the table with a vase full of her favourite flowers. with your utensils ready, you prepare the pastries, toast the bread, and cook the eggs. not only will you touch your girlfriend's heart with this gesture, but you'll also look impressive in front of her parents, which is definitely a good thing. when she wakes up from her beauty sleep, she'll be delightfully surprised by the breakfast made by her long-term boyfriend. the strawberries and champagne after finishing a plate of bacon, sausages, muffin, and heart-shaped eggs. in her pajamas and her make-up-less face, you love her because of her beautiful soul. with a million other reasons, she loves you because you cook meals for her <3 
an egg-cellent idea
  
   
melting her with ice
this weblog is dedicated to being different through details. i was sitting at starbucks one day, when this guy stole the moment as he walked up to his girlfriend to give her a bouquet of roses. it was a sweet gesture i must admit; however, the way he gave the bouquet was just so unimaginative. the truth is, i bet that girl's ex-boyfriends gave her roses exactly the same way he did. here's a cool idea for my male readers who want to be different from ex-boyfriends. prepare a candlelight dinner for your special someone while paying special attention to every detail of the experience. during a romantic evening at home with your girl, present to her a bottle of wine chilling in a bucket full of ice cubes. to her surprise, the bucket is filled with roses incased in ice! while eating the heart-shaped steak you made her, she thinks about the intricacy of your rosy, homemade ice cubes. she's touched because of how you remember every promise that you made to her. she's moved because of how you remember what she wore on past dates. she loves you because of the way you pay attention to the smallest details. it's definitely a different way to give flowers to your girlfriend. those rose ice cubes will melt any girl's heart <3 
rose ice cubes to melt her heart
a creative way to say... this weblog is dedicated to saying "i love you" creatively. i found this interesting picture on the internet. the design consists of a heart and the words, "love you." however, the shape looks like the chinese character for love. that's pretty cool. if you want to make a chinese girl giggle, this would be an awesome design to draw for her. using this design can help me sweep a chinese girl off her feet. maybe one day i could incorporate this design into my handmade gifts for my future girlfriend <3 
while she's sleeping, i'd secretly tattoo this design on her cheek
she'll love me forever
bringing back
the bride's bouquet
this weblog is dedicated to a great way of proposing. today, i had a chance to see the wedding photos of my friend's brother. it reminded me of the time i kicked down the church doors to steal some guy's bride for absolutely no reason. i love to party poo-poo. taking a shit before they say, "i do."
also, my classmate (my co-worker as well) got engaged recently and i am happy for her. as we walked to work today, she flashed me her engagement ring and i was so jealous of her. i was turning into the hulk because i was green with envy. my eyes burned with passion as i drooled over her brightly blinding ring. my finger itched to be constricted by wedding bling bling.
i'm really looking forward to the day when someone proposes to me. i think if my future girlfriend got down on her knees in front of the public, i would cover my mouth in awe and giggle like a sissy...tehehehe. unfortunately, i have a feeling that no girl will ever propose to me. that really sucks.
so here's my wedding proposal: i picture myself with my future girlfriend at a christian wedding. the bride is ready to throw her bouquet in the air for the screaming bride's maids and desperate housewives to cat-fight over. as the flowers fly in mid-air, i push cake faces away and shove old ladies to the ground to catch the bouquet.
with the flowers in my hand and other people's blood on my suit, i would walk over to my long-term girlfriend. getting down on my knees, i would pull out the golf-ball-size engagement ring and present it to her along with the bouquet. the wannabe-brides would go "awww" from the tooth-numbing sweetness and wish that their boyfriends would pull off a stunt like this.
best of all, the peer pressure from the female spectators and the sight of the bride in her beautiful wedding gown would influence her to say, "yes." it's a win-win situation for all of us. except for those poor souls who got knocked out or bitch-slapped by me.
i think it's better if i plan it out with the bride to have the bouquet thrown at me. it makes sense because i won't seem like a jackass and i also won't steal the couple's thunder if i get their permission. i still wanna push old ladies to the ground before proposing though. especially the vulnerable ones on wheelchairs <3  i'm a genius | | |
| gentlewomen this weblog is dedicated to being in a girl's shoes. i really like it when girls drive to my house to pick me up for a night-out. in all honesty, i don't like to bus around on dates really. so i only go out with girls who drive a car. in my opinion, a woman without a car is not really a woman at all. i have expectations from girls. basically, they should do all the asking out. the maximum interest i will show would be flirtatious eye contact and giggles; you will never catch me asking a girl out on a date. in general, i don't usually take the initiative to ask girls out because nowadays a lot of girls do all the asking out anyway. in fact, i've never really asked a girl out on a date before. as i leave my house, my dad would always remind me to come home before my midnight curfew. he'd also tell me to button up the top of my dress shirt, so i won't provoke any unwanted behaviour. my dad is really overprotective sometimes. he thinks all girls just want one thing from me. i think you know what i'm talking about. on dates, i find it really sweet when girls open the car door for me. having a girl opening all my doors is something i take for granted. honestly, i'm a sucker for gentlewomanly gestures, but at least chivalry isn't dead after all. what's even better is that i don't have to worry about paying the bills after dinner. i just order my food, nibble politely, make sure nothing is in my teeth, and the girl pays for everything. it's a great feeling knowing that i don't have to pull anything out of my wallet. i'm sure some of you know what i mean. let me tell you a story about me though. i guess my dad is right about girls. one night, i sat inside this girl's car. we were parked outside my house and the car windows got foggy. i looked into her eyes and giggled, "thanks for the night out. i had a lot of fun." she told me that she had a great time too and put her hand around my shoulder. suddenly, my heart started racing and didn't know what to do. when i realized that she was making a move on me, i pushed her away as she tried to kiss me. she wanted a piece of me because i'm so innocent. i must admit that i was scared at that moment. i really thought she was going to date rape me. i never did tell my dad or else he would never let me go out with girls again. fortunately, when girls take me out, i always have my handy pepper spray in my man-purse ^_~ 
she was going to rape me T___T
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| i am cute
this weblog is dedicated to my adorable american cousins, nephews, and nieces. while i was in los angeles, i had the opportunity to get in touch with my family roots. i took some time to sketch out a little family tree and, with the help of my grandfather, i discovered that i have 21 cousins and 14 nieces and nephews. and that's just the relatives on my mom's side of the family! really, it was nice to see my relatives again. it has been three years since i last saw them and now there are some new additions to the family too. life is different when you don't live with your extended family. there are no dim sums on weekend mornings or family dinners in richmond for me. i miss my aunt and my grandmother; they were so nice to me. my favourite aunt who drove me around while i was in los angeles looks a lot like me. in fact, some people thought she was my mom. i wish i could have grown up with them by my side. i wish i could have experienced that family warmth that my cousins take for granted. i wish i didn't feel so lonely T_T 
this is sleepy austin, my new nephew. 
my nephew kyle reminds me of a buddhist monk. 
clariet is no longer shy in front of me. 
my niece leanne loves to pose in pictures. 
isaac, my new nephew, points at everything and goes "oh." 
my cousin amy is adorable to the max. 
hug hug~ | | |
| i got implants this weblog is dedicated to showing off my pinner biceps. my long-distance relationship with my transvestite girlfriend from thailand has influenced me to go get some plastic surgery for myself. now, don't think the wrong way; i don't want to shrink my balls nor choppy choppy my wee-wee. i thought about something along the lines of getting my nose done, my tummy tucked, or my calves enlarged. so i went to california to get one of the best plastic surgeons in the world to put some silicone into my spaghetti excuse of arms. my pencil-thin limbs that hang on the side of my torso. i'm a disgrace to even the scrawniest of scrawnies. really, there is no difference between my real arms and the prosthetic arms of a disabled veteran. a sure-win arm wrestling victory for a two-year old baby against me. perfectly described, my arms are like the useless, little claws on a tyrannosaurus rex. but after getting my biceps done i could do what no man can do. like an ant carrying a walnut, i can pick up firetrucks, stop speeding trains, move mountains boulder by boulder, and one-punch knock out the world's best boxer in the first round. kneel before me for my arms replace guns. fear me and worship me for i am the god of arm wrestling. this is madness? this is...stanley's biceps! i simply love my weapons of mass destruction. in fact, i give my biceps hickeys every night before i sleep <3 
i need a life~ | | |
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